There was a Surge

...a power surge that is.  One that knocked me offline for 3 days.  We had a huge storm here and right after, several of our electronical systems were zonky.  It ended up frying our amp and network card.  So I sat, unable to access the computer.  Which again meant more time for other things and a quieter way of being.

Not bad...for a couple of days!  I am getting ready to leave for CHA.  I can't wait to see my girls again and just relax for a few days.  I adore seeing all the goodies up close and being a part of the excitement.  Can't wait to see the Pink Paislee booth! If you haven't seen the new releases yet (yeah right), head to the blog. I can't pick a favorite...EVERYTHING IS FABULOUS! I will post pictures here as usual so be on the lookout! If you are going to CHA, let me know so I can look for you!

I need the break for other reasons too.  I have faced some disappointments lately which had me feeling a bit sad.  You know when you just can't get past a feeling.  So I asked for some guidance and it came. 

I need to give some background though.  I was a high school cheerleading coach for 5 years.  Started with the program with a team that had skill but no training.  My first year I lost at least 5 girls because my expectations and theirs did not match.  The next year was better and it grew from there.  I took a team to the UCA National Championships my fourth year.  Then my final year, I had an outstanding squad.  We had all been together since my seniors were freshman.  We wanted to win right from the beginning with a week at camp.  Success as we beat the Rhode Island State Champs.  We set goals, we were all on board.  The main goal was to place at the CT State Championship.  We were well on our way.  The day of the competition came and they looked great.  A little bobble in the middle, but no big deal.  Then it was our last stunt...very difficult.  And they fumbled a bit.  My girls were fighters so they saved it...they announced third, second and first and we were not called.

When I got the score sheet, it was like being slapped in the face.  We missed third place by 0.5.  That one bobble doesn't happen and we are in third.  We missed second by 1.5.  That end mistake...

I couldn't believe how close we were.  I couldn't understand why it just couldn't have happened for us that day.  To want something so badly...I got on the bus and shared the results.  Usually I can contain myself and be a role model.  But that day, I cried and felt all the sting.  I knew it was my last chance.  It was not anyone's fault and I certainly did not want anyone to carry it.  It just was what it was.  I still look back on that day with disappointment.

But the other day, my family went out to lunch.  Standing in front of me in the restaurant was one of my old girls. When she recognized me, I got the biggest, warmest hug and I gave one back.  There was an instant connection as we had spent 5-6 days a week together for 8 months a year.  Times three. And we are bonded by the same amazing experience.

That feeling and warmth brought me back to what was really important about my coaching days.  In the end, I don't really remember the winning or losing.  If I hold on to the big picture, it is about the relationships that were forged and the common vision we all followed.  It was about that smile of recognition. It was a special time.

That was my guidance.  To remember what is important.  Disappointment is a part of the journey, but it doesn't have to signify an experience or represent who I am.  It is about growing, learning and feeling.  Sometimes things just don't go the way you want them to and you have to believe there is a reason.  Even if you don't understand.

As a mom, I think about how my children will feel when they face disappointments like these.  I want to protect them but know there are opportunities in that conflict.  I hope I can translate that to Nathan and Ella as they grow.

Speaking of Ella, she is not really a baby anymore.  Looks and acts more mature.  My girl!

Supplies:  Paper, button, journaling card:  Webster's Pages; Alphabet:  American Crafts

I hope when she asks for guidance, she receives it just like I did!