Lead the Way

I am a person who likes to make her own way.  I like to be in control.  I like to steer the ship.  For much of my life, I needed to be like this.  It was survival.  The first in my family to go to college, a divorce that left me abadoned, goals and ambitions waiting to be fulfilled... 

But lately, I find myself surrending.  Have found myself asking for help and admitting that sometimes I need someone else to lead the way.  I am finding parenting to be trying right now.  We establish routines, clearly express our expectations, love our children fiercely...but they test and test.  The sibling fighting and the constant reminders have worn on me.  And I need to regroup.  Pray on it. 

I think most of it is spring fever.  Most of it is just normal stuff that happens with young children who are close in age.  But some of it is us...too many chances, routines that have loosened, stress that takes us away from them emotionally.  Are they getting mixed messages?  Am I shaping them the right way?

I am praying on it.

Because most of the time, I have two loving, smart, kind and funny children.  They lean on each other and have a strong sense of family.  The other day, Nathan was leaving for a sleepover and Ella said, "Nate, I will miss you." 

Nathan said, "You will?" 

Ella: "Yeah, you are my best brother and I love you." 

Nathan: "Why do you fight with me all the time?"

Ella:  "Not all the time.  And I still love you."

They had this conversation while not in our immediate presence.  And it made me smile.  I am hoping they can show each other the way.

(Supplies:  Websters Pages: Trendsetter Papers, Princess Petals, Chipboard Buttons and Twine, Letter Stickers, Alphabets and Trims)

I am also hoping that I can follow their lead more.  That I can figure out what they need to grow and became great, smart, and funny adults.  I have a feeling that right now, that means letting a certain someone guide the way.