I found myself at the Team Ewan blog the other day and was compelled to hear his story. The second that I saw the first photograph, I stopped and wondered if I should go any farther. My memories of Baby James, my sister and all the emotions came pouring in. I decided to keep reading, mostly because I couldn't help myself. I wanted to root for a happy ending for this precious newborn baby, even though I know the truth. Her writing and her photos resonated. It was beautiful, tragic, and touching. Unfortunately, I could relate. I thought of my sister and Jimmy and how hard it was. A year and a half later and it still seems a bit surreal. How could that have happened?
I cried my eyes out for a while. Felt the pain. I actually went back to my old blog posts...it moved me to read the stories that I had written and I am glad I have shared them, as difficult as it was. I honored those feelings and gave that part of me that will forever be scarred a chance to express herself.
Then, I thought of how well my sister and Jimmy are doing now. They have bought a house of their own and are both working in stable jobs, beautifully raising two fantastic girls. It will never leave them. They still have the new bedding, clothes and diapers that were given at her baby shower. I know they still grieve, but they are healing. I hear my sister talk about the things she looks forward to and it is nice to hear.
Reliving that experience reminds me of how precious life is. How we just don't know because we are not in control.
We should shake off the negative things that happen to us every day. Go to work and pour 100% in to it. And then leave it at the door. Take time to enjoy family and make phone calls we keep meaning to make.
For me, I need to lighten up. Really. So what if my kids have a few chocolate chips in their bowl of Apple Jacks. It is time to enjoy life...appreciate what I have. Be more loving. Laugh. I am going to give it a try.
Supplies: Pink Paislee Parisian Anthology (check out the blog for more).
To find out more about Team Ewan and hear his story, visit the Team Ewan blog.