Sunday, April 22, 2012

At Home: It Felt That Way

I am sitting here, typing at home tonight.  Trying to process through so many thoughts and feelings.

While I am home tonight, I spent this weekend in the home state of my biological father...the state where two sisters still live, where a brother was raised.  I spent the weekend in the gorgeous city of Savannah.  I was bewitched by her in every way...the history, the friendly people, the beauty.  She stole my heart and made me feel at home.




Steve and I had a nice get-away together where we shared reflections on life and thoughts for the future.  He is my home...now and always.


Feeling at home happened in many more important ways than just loving a city.  I went to Savannah to celebrate my sister Sara's wedding.  In doing that, I would be meeting my other sister and brother.  I was nervous, a bit overwhelmed.  This is normally a protective girl...I have lived a life of standing behind my wall of anger. 

It has crumbled and has been weakened over time.  It was broken down this weekend.  I don't think it could have gone better.  I got to be a part of my sister's special day.  I met so many of her friends and it is obvious how much they love her.  What a joy to see Sara embraced and cherished by her gracious family as she married the man she loves and the man who loves her.  A family who embraced me, openly, no protectiveness there...

What a joy to meet my sister, Dawn.  To witness her easy nature, her resilence and to meet her husband, Tom.  He was super sweet, caring, and outgoing...they make a great couple.  It was a joy to meet my brother, Chris, and see how smart and funny he is.  His personality reminds me of myself.  His wife, Cynthia, is feisty and full of life...we became fast friends. It is obvious we have a lot in common (wink:)

What a joy to be introduced to many of my biological father's friends.  I heard stories last night.  I realized that I was a part of his history.  It was healing to look through other's eyes.

I don't have pictures to share because I was simply in the moment.  I hope to be able to gather some from others who attended the wedding.  There are pages to be scrapped and stories to be told.

The whole weekend felt like home...natural connections. I didn't feel like an outsider, certainly didn't feel abandoned.  I feel like that part of my life came full circle.  There is nothing left to be denied, to resent, to regret.  There are only hopes for the future.  See, I am bewitched.

I am so thankful. 

Because of this weekend, I am at home within myself. 

6 comments:

  1. I've been anxious to hear about your story, Stacey...sounds like everything went well; I am very happy for you! I have a similar story, one that I haven't yet approached. I guess I've been afraid of rejection, but after reading your words I'm feeling more encouraged to reach out :)

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  2. I'm glad it was a wonderful and meaningful weekend for you.

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  3. You are far from fiesty girl!! Im so glad you had a good weekend & even though there are no picture's i hope you still get to document thi shappy moment in your life xxxxxxxxxx

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  4. Your post gives me goosebumps and I am teary eyed with happiness for you. I am so so SO glad it all went well and that you made new friends and bonded with your family!

    You deserve all the best, Stace, and I am so glad that it's coming to you!!

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  5. Amazing story filled with so much emotion. So glad to hear how it was healing and how you were part of the stories too. Hoping it brings lots and lots of peace!

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  6. Beautiful story, Stacey. Just as Zarah, I am sitting here with my eyes all wet. I am glad that it felt so right to be there and that you have brought all these wonderful memories with you. Hope this experience will bring you peace.

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